Thought Bubble: Social Media Backlash of Beauty

There has been a lot of noise on social media based on what it means to call yourself a social media influencer, calling into question what people are choosing to represent. One activist said that people are portraying a picture of unachievable beauty,  creating a materialistic atmosphere showing followers that it only matters if you have numbers behind you but isn’t that what this world is all about? Isn’t this a message that has always been portrayed through centuries?

“Beauty is only skin deep”- Sir Thomas Overbury (1613 )

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder- Margaret Wolfe Hungerford (1878)

There has been a lot of noise on social media based on what it means to call yourself a social media influencer, calling into question what people are choosing to represent. One activist said that people are portraying a picture of unachievable beauty,  creating a materialistic atmosphere showing followers that it only matters if you have numbers behind you but isn’t that what this world is all about? Isn’t this a message that has always been portrayed through centuries?

A disclosure, I write the majority of articles as a thinking person that doesn’t have all the answers. I do not write them to solve mankind’s issues or even to give a solution but if we want to get deep and take it all the way back as if it was a Thursday, mankind only raises their head and pays attention if you have numbers. It doesn’t make it particularly right but, if you want to close the deal, then the person with the most zero’s behind the number wins, money/ Numbers talks boo! So in a way, I do not understand why it is such a revelation.

I do get that the voice of the oppressed is becoming louder and there are more avenues to voice and challenge , but, Society has always had a call on what was beautiful or what was the standard benchmark of ‘when you’ve made it.’ Actually, let me rephrase that, society has portrayed what they feel is beautiful through magazine covers and told us what they think we should have through adverts and we have been gullible enough to fashion ourselves after it. That sounds better as we are just as much to blame! We have all at some point been sucked into wanting to follow the fashions of the world. I am not saying that I agree with the fact that people feel pressured to achieve the false reality but society is fake and will always try and manipulate what they feel is perfect. Being in the modelling industry, there has been times where even I felt out of place, as bookers and brands have a say over what they feel is perfect for them and you know what, they are 100 percent entitled- I am the one who put myself into the industry.

For example, I have always been insecure with how much bigger and dis-proportioned my boobs are with the rest of my size 6-8 body. Don’t get me wrong I embrace them  and j’adore  them now! But being on the receiving end to people always looking at them as if you put too much tissue down your bra in compared to your ‘marga’ waist was a lot at times. Especially in my early days of modelling. One time I went for a casting for a well known brand early in my career and I left wanted a breast reduction lol. I remember standing in a adjustable swimsuit , all the models had been given the same style but it legit barely covered a nipple lol compared to the other less endowed girls who it fit perfectly. It was safe to say I did not get the job and remember texting my boyfriend at the time ( who obviously was not in agreement of popping the fun bags lol) upset that my body was not the perfect beautiful size of the other models.

I would say that was a low point of my career as it made me not want to go for jobs afraid that my body wasn’t the ‘norm’. Honestly, if it wasn’t for a good support network and self belief, I think I would have stopped modelling altogether- no lies! To some reading this it may not be a big deal, but body confidence is real and even though I personally wouldn’t want to change a thing about my body anymore, societies ‘standard’ can call your confidence into question. I thus turned to building my Instagram as I felt it was one of the only ways I could have jurisdiction over what I was proud of and make my own opportunities.

Even though I am small fish in the social media pond, I am able  to make my own opportunities and focus on portraying my beauty the way I want to, I have had the opportunity to work with brands and meet people I do not feel I would be able to without the use of social media. I feel that I am able to create my own ‘standard’ and be my own beautiful. Yes, there are people that edit the life from their photos but, 9 times out of 10 they admit it – Photoshop is not a secret anymore and if they do retouch their photos, personally I feel it is there prerogative, we are being just as bad casting judgement on something they post and feel is beautiful to them. I say good on them and there enhanced face tuned bootay!!!

Now is not the time to be tearing each other down about what is right or wrong, I do understand that as influences people are impressionable but my question is, if our little sister, cousin, brother, best friend or whoever is impressionable what are we doing to tell them they are beautiful in there own way, what are we doing to influence our own back yard ? If people in my circle such as friends and family  didn’t install particular views and down to this day challenge my mindset, I would not be as strong minded as I am today to love myself as I am despite things that could have knocked me.

I am not going to lie, I feel proud when I see numbers behind my name as I worked dang hard to get there. It is not the whole focus of my life but it is something I am passionate in sharing that hard work pays off and if a 5’3(and a half), big boobed, tiny waist, curly haired chick like me can influence to love every part of you then long may it last.

Real recognises real xx

typorama (16)

Thought bubble: I am unapologetically high maintenance and I don’t think it’s a bad thing

There was an instance where a fella, who already had a decent income I assume got a new job and said exactly this ‘Now I feel like I can look after you’. I mean that’s very sweet and it did make me think good lord shalishah you must be a lot to handle. However, I have always thought to myself why should I settle for less than what I can provide for myself and what I would want to give to others? It may sound superficial- but to me, life is way to short to be thinking of what could of happened or being miserable because I forced myself to be content with something that wasn’t up to what I really want. After all, we will both end up unhappy. 

I sit here in bed with my favourite mix of ginger-ale and disaronno(one to write down for those who would want to impress lol) and after a conversation with a particular Mr who will remain anonymous I re-confirm that I am in fact high maintenance. Not that I have never been told this before from previous guys I have dated or that I ever denied it- In fact I am quite proud to bear the title as to me it shows I know what I want.

There was an instance where a fella, who already had a decent income, I assume, got a new job and said exactly this ‘Now I feel like I can look after you’. I mean that’s very sweet and it did make me think good lord shalishah you must be a lot to handle. However, I have always thought to myself why should I settle for less than what I can provide for myself and what I would want to give to others? It may sound superficial- but to me, life is way to short to be thinking of what could of happened or being miserable because I forced myself to be content with something that wasn’t up to what I really want. After all, we will both end up unhappy.

Just to clarify to you readers who may think so far reading this that I am somewhat pretentious, I am not meaning it in a full materialistic way I just mean it in a way as to your other half making effort and it lasting longer than the 3-6 months (if your even lucky to get that) honeymoon period. Just being real out here ladies and gents! Which brings me back to this anonymous fella at the beginning. The reason why it triggered such thoughts is because we were talking about needing to unwind and relax to which his perfect situation for us to relax all day in bed, talk about life, have a few bed based activities and then chill for the day- all, may I add, was because of the apparent free parking outside my flat haha.

I mean call me weird or whatever but, even as I type it down, I am like no just no. My reply was ‘ What are we 50?!’ There is absolutely nothing wrong with a day in bed- in fact I probably have days in bed most Saturdays but alone lol and they are perfect. However, my point is firstly, why should you have to plan a day in bed, shouldn’t it just happen ? Secondly, I feel like we have an eternity (if you play your cards right) to be in bloody bed lol. Finally, the only other possibility of a joint bed day is if you are joining me on a heavy weekend ha.

All I am saying is, if we are trying to get to know each other lets says, I don’t want a day in bed where I am probably just going to be left watching you sleep!  I want to go to dinner, be in a romantic atmosphere, splash a little cash on a cutie and we can talk about life. Have a spontaneous road trip or just trip in general. Introduce me to hobbies you like to do, go to the pub and watch the footie together for goodness sake! I am just a massive believer that when you are wanting to get to know someone there needs to be effort on both parts and also a special experience- let’s build some dang memories.

Like, how boring would this be if lets say we had kids and my kids asked me, what sort of things did you and Daddy get up to when you was young and I am like ‘Oh we just used to have loads of cute days in bed’.  No, just no lol what am I a sloth! I am an adventure girl ( Role superhero intro), a guy who is thinking to entertain the thought of being with me needs to want to add to that adventure not put me to bed every 5 mins- I mean one J Holiday is enough. Even my flat mate who has only known me for 4 Months analysed that I am the type of lady who seems spontaneous and would visit a country, fall in love with it and probably move there without a second thought.

I like to live in the moment, and that moment could be pricey or perceived as high maintenance but honestly, I wouldn’t expect anyone to do for me what I can not already do or build up to do for myself or want to give back to them. So, my intelligent readers, do not settle of less, maybe staying in bed for an eternity with a hot guy/girl is your cup of tea but think, how will you feel looking back at it – make those memories last and fulfilling, be high-maintenance 😉

typorama (16)

Thought Bubble: Life changes you

Life experiences change you.  Not that it is meant to be some sort of mind blowing revelation but, I was looking through some old pictures that I saved on some random memory stick which was full of cute cuddly family moments and genuine smiles with ex-besties, boyfriends and the works- which are now deleted for extra storage lol. I couldn’t resist flicking through those pictures and thinking my goodness how much things have changed, how much I have changed.

I even find myself telling people at times that I was a really good person, not that I’m not anymore ha, but I mean I was a REALLY good person sweet as pie. Don’t get me wrong she is still there somewhere, but she buried and locked away inside a hard shell so that I don’t feel vulnerable to peoples tricks. I feel like I have become somewhat Icy and savage as we now call it in compared to that sweet, ignorant girl of 18 years old in those pictures. Life has changed me.

There are times where I wish I could forget about memories or situations which made me less trusting and more cautious, after all, she’s still there inside me and does come out from time to time but it is just the simple truth that life and the experiences that come with it, especially in this world, sucks out any innocence you possibly may have wanted to hold on to and forces you to question everything or only let few people get close to you.

By no means am I complaining, but I can say that even though like many other of you readers, some experiences are bloody tough to swallow is does make you wiser and stronger.

Lets stay true to us even if its different to what we originally thought our lives would look like.

Shalishah xx

Thought Bubble: I expect too much from Men…

There is probably some experienced women out there who may stumble across the title of this blog and say ” Well honey, I could of told you that for free” but, no matter how much history replays itself, we always seem to get ourselves into the same pickle – so much for evolution ey!

My issue is this, I get myself into a great and solo stage where I am at my peak, I am happy, not reporting to any one, no significant over and I have reached the stage of contentment in self love and all that. Then bang, here comes someone who you think understands you, gets where your coming from and suddenly I am feeling like I need them to be there for me. Like WTH… I was just fine ten seconds before you came and all of a sudden when they have typically lost interest in whatever the hell they must have found vaguely interesting, has disappeared like Cinderella’s ball gown after 12 ‘o’ clock.

This is not to be confused for one of those ” All men are trash” rants ( I am saving that for next week ha) but, this is a confession that as soon as I find what I believe might be a good guy I find myself giving life and caring but maybe the trick is to not expect the same thing back, not expect him to be my prince Eric from little mermaid (Sorry for the Disney references lol), but realise that things cool off and what might be right for now may not be right forever and not to expect they will always understand the sacrifice and loyalty you are trying to show.

Miscommunication is a bugger and although I long for a guy who can be consistent, all these experiences make it much more harder for the next guy as I become more closed off (sucks I know). But, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and as long as you know what you expect from yourself and focus on when you are most happiest, I guess we will find the prince charming that would like to fit around us and meet us in the middle for a change.

In the words of my Guyanese Grandma “Every Mouldy biscuit gat he  vum vum cheese” or in other words, there is someone for everyone xx

typorama (16)

Thought Bubble: When The Going Gets Tough…

All I’m saying is, if the last couple of months of my life were televised it would probably be on par with Eastenders and popular on netflix- DRAMA! My phone was stolen, I was in a car accident and now have no car, I am in the process of moving out for the first time and am kind of excited but apprehensive and unlike my last blog- I have actually been giving the whole dating thang a go but feel like I must still not be doing something right or maybe I am – lord knows!

Don’t get me wrong I know there are much more serious things going on in the world and when put in perspective I will get over this very long blip but, it’s like can something just go right for once! I do a good job of covering things over and acting like I am okay with life just not going to plan (she says after finishing her 3rd box of Kleenex ha) but life is tough!

So, what do we do? Honestly, each situation is different and what one person might find an absolute mountain another person could view it as a piece of cake but, it is okay to feel like you can’t handle it. No matter how Superhuman or Goddess-like we may look, we are only human and life is bound to get on top of us. Take a step back and re-evaluate your options to work around the situation or if its something that can’t be overlooked build your inner self to work through it. You got this!

I have also made it a task to set new goals to help me re-focus on something more positive rather than things that may not be going particularly great. A perfect way to build a more positive mind. Start small and realistic and build on them believing that even if it does get sticky like honey it will taste sweet in the end!

Chins up Puddings xx

typorama (16)

Thought Bubble: Ways to Make 2018 Pop!

Maybe you have just hit the jackpot on a new business venture, thought of a new idea that you are 100% certain will solidify all your dreams. Perhaps this year isn’t about that, perhaps it’s something as simple as getting rid of a dead beat boyfriend (girlfriend) or discovering who your real friends are! Whatever it is here are some points to make 2018 pop! *Cue glitter confetti from the ceiling*.

Be Realistic:

Realism is key, as yes it is the new year but the same crap will come! Look at it that you are getting another opportunity to ace it,  not make the same mistakes twice- learn from those lessons babe!

Don’t Hold back:

I mean procrastination is something that we all have experienced in life and as much as life can get busy, what are you really waiting for, lord knows it won’t be handed to you. So if you have the urge to jump on that wave, take that class or finally develop an idea you’ve had back in 08- lets see some action!

Stay True to you!

Finally the media has cottoned on to the idea of being an individual as beautiful. You may still be in you growth stage but, honey listen, no one does you better and it is time you start liking who you are and loving it!

#LiveYourBestLife

 

 

typorama (16)

How to have the best time in Marrakesh

After being in desperate need of some winter sun, the vibrant city of Marrakesh came under my radar and with raving reviews from friends, I was eager to see what this gem within Morocco had to offer!

After being in desperate need of some winter sun, the vibrant city of Marrakesh came under my radar and with raving reviews from friends, I was eager to see what this gem within Morocco had to offer! 3 hours on a fully booked flight, led me and my best gal pal/ travel buddy to a memorable and exciting holiday and here is a few highlights and tips so you can have the best time in Marrakesh!

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Embrace the culture & Get your Hustle on!

Picture this; the golden sun beating down on you whilst you sit and enjoy the freshest mint Moroccan tea at a near by cafe on the corner of the town square, serenity whilst overlooking the hustle of the Medina. Yes- it is a must that you visit the souk markets of the Medina Old town as it is definitely what adds to the character of Marrakesh. With an array of spices- for those budding chefs out there, textiles, pottery and sweet, refreshing Moroccan Tea it is no wonder why many flock to share in the hustle. Whilst I was meandering through the market, I found the people to be friendly and helpful.  Some stalls are selling similar if not the same product so it is important that you bargain a good price. The Medina is a great place also to buy original memorabilia and jewellery which trust me will make a way better gift then the cliche “My friend went to Marrakesh and got me this Mug”.

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Receiving Henna at the Medina Markets 

Tip: When visiting the market make sure you have a good idea on how much you are wanting to spend so you can whittle them down to the best price.

What to wear: Obviously every outfit is weather dependant however, I would say ladies cover up! I found it a much more comfortable walk through the market wearing an outfit which was stylish but not too revealing.

For those in need of Adventure:

As a self confessed adrenaline junkie I looked for ways to combine this need with also seeing the beautiful scenery of Marrakesh and out popped Quad biking in the desert. I had so much fun! We booked this package from the hotel which on hindsight would have been cheaper online. However, it allowed us to get transfers to and from the hotel.

We quad biked for 2 hours around the desert, making a stop of in the mountains. On the way back to base, the sunset crept up upon us making it a perfect finish to our quad biking experience. This is definitely value for money and no fear to those less experience quad bikers, there is a guide on hand and the bikes are automatic.

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Tip: As stated you will save your money if you book online! For example the price we paid for Quad biking via the hotel we could of paid online for both the Quad bikes and Camels.  What can I say.. I make these mistakes so you don’t have too!

The Freaks come out at night:

Admittedly we did spend some of our nights in our hotel making good use of the all inclusive bar and good ol’ hotel entertainment, but, when we did go out we had the best time! Marrakesh is home to what has been labelled as the ‘Best Club in Africa’ and although I have not been to other clubs in Africa to compare, I would definitely say they know how to host a good party.

Clubs in Marrakesh usually start at 11/12 and end at 5 pm. They offer a variety of themed nights throughout the week such as Hip hop and R&B and also my personal favourite… LADIES NIGHT. I mean, ladies I am talking free entry and free drinks for the whole night.The only catch is, that you have to be unaccompanied by a male to get the deal-which for me was no problem ha! For those unfortunate men who will need to pay or on normal nights, there is a 200 Dirham, the equivalent of £20 but this too comes with a free drink in some cases. The standard of clubs are like London’s Libertine, Cirque or Toyroom. The two clubs we visited were called Theatro and 555. Other places which I would recommend are: Buddha Bar, Le Comptoir, Lotus and Le Palace Marrakesh where you can enjoy great cocktails, food and traditional Belly Dancing.

What to wear: Dress as if you was at home

Tip: If you establish a good relationship with a Taxi driver during your stay, arrange for them to either wait for you or arrange for them to pick you up after your night out of town. This usually cost 200 Dirham each way.

Quick Tip Medley:

  • When arriving at the airport the hustle begins! Do not let that beautiful weather woo you off guard and do not pay more then 200 Dirham for a journey less then 30 mins to your hotel
  • New Town brings a more modern vibe to Marrakesh as you will find Mcds, KFC, Zara and H&M as well as many other shops within their shopping centres and promenades. There is also a YSL cinema which is recommended for all fellow fashionistas out there.
  • The weather can be very stunning during the day but drops considerably at night! So do be sure to bring a light jacket or coat depending on the time of year.
  • From experience it is definitely best to bring pounds and then convert your money out there. We found we received a better rate through changing our cash at the Hotel rather then withdrawing money via a Cash point.

I hope you enjoyed and if you are planning to visit Marrakesh have an amazing time!

Also, check out my two part Marrakesh Vlog on my Youtube channel!!

 

typorama (16)

Shalishah Loves❤ : Crust Bros Pizza

It was after a couple cocktails that I stumbled across this little beauty, in need of something substantial and preferably doughy to get me through the rest of the night!

It was after a couple cocktails that I stumbled across this little beauty, in need of something substantial and preferably doughy to get me through the rest of the night!

This Neapolitan-style  Pizzeria based in Waterloo caters perfectly not just for those pre/post night out cravings but also makes it a brilliant healthy option for those everyday cravings. Sticking to tradition, Crust Bros pizza is cooked in a traditional wood fire oven and topped with fresh combos such as Mozzarella, Sun dried Tomato’s, Spicy Salami and Sweet Peppers ( My personal favourite!).

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You can either choose a Pizza from their quirky named menu  or be creative and design your own- this would allow you to choose from the wide variety of toppings and cheeses which also includes a Vegan option. All Pizza’s are prepared freshly in front of you taking around 15 minutes to cook and prepare.

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If you are looking for a Pizza place  that doesn’t leave you with that guilty feeling or unforgiving belly bloat, then I do recommend Crust Bros- It will be love at first Bite ;).

Feeling Lazy or Anti?

We all get those days – Trust me! But do not worry, Crust Bros also delivers via DeliverRoo and provides a takeaway service, served in tastefully decorated leopard print boxes!

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How I Rate it ?(Out of 10)

  • Menu : 7 – Wide variety and you can not complain if you are able to make your own pizza.
  • Taste: 7 – Very Fresh and just so Yum!
  • Atmosphere : Cosy – Seating is available but on busy days you will feel like one big pizza eating family which, is not necessarily a bad thing.
  • Location 8 – Opposite the station and easy to get to.

Website: http://crustbros.co.uk/

Address :  113 Waterloo Rd, Lambeth, London SE1 8UL

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Who ate all the Pizza ?

typorama (16)

Thought Bubble: Go and Find Yourself …

You may read this and feel like duh! Shalishah you’re kind of making it this way, which is true – but I feel like I am going through a period where I need to find myself again, or maybe I never did find my true self in the first place? Life experiences shape you.

I feel Alone! So bizarre- Not that I don’t have people around me but, I am sure I can not be the only person to feel alone in a room full of people. I do not want pity, that is not why I have exposed such feelings, I look at it as a transitional period.

I mean for example, I have probably cut and bruised any guy who has tried to show me love or attention recently (not in a physical way) but, in a way that I am fed up of relationships. I vowed a million times over that I would never turn into one of those bitter ladies however, sadly I am a certified member lol! In a nutshell, I have become selfish with my time and want to focus on me and when a guy comes into my life and decides to do the right thing by, giving me extra attention and wants to spend more time with me- I run away and retreat and act like a cow so they give up. Call it a defence method or whatever the hell I am doing, I am just presently no longer a lover or love and sometimes it does kill me as I was never like that!

Then there’s life ambitions, that’s changed to. I’ve seemed to have embarked on some random journey for one which involves; travelling, money saving (a bit of a contradiction with the travelling I know lol) and mainly thinking about what I want out of life first and it does feel quite lonely. You may read this and feel like duh! Shalishah you’re kind of making it this way, which is true – but I feel like I am going through a period where I need to find myself again, or maybe I never did find my true self in the first place? Life experiences shape you.

Anyway, this blog post is for all the ladies and gentlemen out there who have had rubbish thrown in their faces, their eyes opened and now just need A LOT of self Loving, I feel you! Go and find yourself again !

Shalishah xx

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