Thought bubble: I am unapologetically high maintenance and I don’t think it’s a bad thing

I sit here in bed with my favourite mix of ginger-ale and disaronno(one to write down for those who would want to impress lol) and after a conversation with a particular Mr who will remain anonymous I re-confirm that I am in fact high maintenance. Not that I have never been told this before from previous guys I have dated or that I ever denied it- In fact I am quite proud to bear the title as to me it shows I know what I want.

There was an instance where a fella, who already had a decent income, I assume, got a new job and said exactly this ‘Now I feel like I can look after you’. I mean that’s very sweet and it did make me think good lord shalishah you must be a lot to handle. However, I have always thought to myself why should I settle for less than what I can provide for myself and what I would want to give to others? It may sound superficial- but to me, life is way to short to be thinking of what could of happened or being miserable because I forced myself to be content with something that wasn’t up to what I really want. After all, we will both end up unhappy.

Just to clarify to you readers who may think so far reading this that I am somewhat pretentious, I am not meaning it in a full materialistic way I just mean it in a way as to your other half making effort and it lasting longer than the 3-6 months (if your even lucky to get that) honeymoon period. Just being real out here ladies and gents! Which brings me back to this anonymous fella at the beginning. The reason why it triggered such thoughts is because we were talking about needing to unwind and relax to which his perfect situation for us to relax all day in bed, talk about life, have a few bed based activities and then chill for the day- all, may I add, was because of the apparent free parking outside my flat haha.

I mean call me weird or whatever but, even as I type it down, I am like no just no. My reply was ‘ What are we 50?!’ There is absolutely nothing wrong with a day in bed- in fact I probably have days in bed most Saturdays but alone lol and they are perfect. However, my point is firstly, why should you have to plan a day in bed, shouldn’t it just happen ? Secondly, I feel like we have an eternity (if you play your cards right) to be in bloody bed lol. Finally, the only other possibility of a joint bed day is if you are joining me on a heavy weekend ha.

All I am saying is, if we are trying to get to know each other lets says, I don’t want a day in bed where I am probably just going to be left watching you sleep!  I want to go to dinner, be in a romantic atmosphere, splash a little cash on a cutie and we can talk about life. Have a spontaneous road trip or just trip in general. Introduce me to hobbies you like to do, go to the pub and watch the footie together for goodness sake! I am just a massive believer that when you are wanting to get to know someone there needs to be effort on both parts and also a special experience- let’s build some dang memories.

Like, how boring would this be if lets say we had kids and my kids asked me, what sort of things did you and Daddy get up to when you was young and I am like ‘Oh we just used to have loads of cute days in bed’.  No, just no lol what am I a sloth! I am an adventure girl ( Role superhero intro), a guy who is thinking to entertain the thought of being with me needs to want to add to that adventure not put me to bed every 5 mins- I mean one J Holiday is enough. Even my flat mate who has only known me for 4 Months analysed that I am the type of lady who seems spontaneous and would visit a country, fall in love with it and probably move there without a second thought.

I like to live in the moment, and that moment could be pricey or perceived as high maintenance but honestly, I wouldn’t expect anyone to do for me what I can not already do or build up to do for myself or want to give back to them. So, my intelligent readers, do not settle of less, maybe staying in bed for an eternity with a hot guy/girl is your cup of tea but think, how will you feel looking back at it – make those memories last and fulfilling, be high-maintenance 😉

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Thought Bubble: Life changes you

Life experiences change you.  Not that it is meant to be some sort of mind blowing revelation but, I was looking through some old pictures that I saved on some random memory stick which was full of cute cuddly family moments and genuine smiles with ex-besties, boyfriends and the works- which are now deleted for extra storage lol. I couldn’t resist flicking through those pictures and thinking my goodness how much things have changed, how much I have changed.

I even find myself telling people at times that I was a really good person, not that I’m not anymore ha, but I mean I was a REALLY good person sweet as pie. Don’t get me wrong she is still there somewhere, but she buried and locked away inside a hard shell so that I don’t feel vulnerable to peoples tricks. I feel like I have become somewhat Icy and savage as we now call it in compared to that sweet, ignorant girl of 18 years old in those pictures. Life has changed me.

There are times where I wish I could forget about memories or situations which made me less trusting and more cautious, after all, she’s still there inside me and does come out from time to time but it is just the simple truth that life and the experiences that come with it, especially in this world, sucks out any innocence you possibly may have wanted to hold on to and forces you to question everything or only let few people get close to you.

By no means am I complaining, but I can say that even though like many other of you readers, some experiences are bloody tough to swallow is does make you wiser and stronger.

Lets stay true to us even if its different to what we originally thought our lives would look like.

Shalishah xx

Thought Bubble: I expect too much from Men…

There is probably some experienced women out there who may stumble across the title of this blog and say ” Well honey, I could of told you that for free” but, no matter how much history replays itself, we always seem to get ourselves into the same pickle – so much for evolution ey!

My issue is this, I get myself into a great and solo stage where I am at my peak, I am happy, not reporting to any one, no significant over and I have reached the stage of contentment in self love and all that. Then bang, here comes someone who you think understands you, gets where your coming from and suddenly I am feeling like I need them to be there for me. Like WTH… I was just fine ten seconds before you came and all of a sudden when they have typically lost interest in whatever the hell they must have found vaguely interesting, has disappeared like Cinderella’s ball gown after 12 ‘o’ clock.

This is not to be confused for one of those ” All men are trash” rants ( I am saving that for next week ha) but, this is a confession that as soon as I find what I believe might be a good guy I find myself giving life and caring but maybe the trick is to not expect the same thing back, not expect him to be my prince Eric from little mermaid (Sorry for the Disney references lol), but realise that things cool off and what might be right for now may not be right forever and not to expect they will always understand the sacrifice and loyalty you are trying to show.

Miscommunication is a bugger and although I long for a guy who can be consistent, all these experiences make it much more harder for the next guy as I become more closed off (sucks I know). But, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and as long as you know what you expect from yourself and focus on when you are most happiest, I guess we will find the prince charming that would like to fit around us and meet us in the middle for a change.

In the words of my Guyanese Grandma “Every Mouldy biscuit gat he  vum vum cheese” or in other words, there is someone for everyone xx

Thought Bubble: When The Going Gets Tough…

All I’m saying is, if the last couple of months of my life were televised it would probably be on par with Eastenders and popular on netflix- DRAMA! My phone was stolen, I was in a car accident and now have no car, I am in the process of moving out for the first time and am kind of excited but apprehensive and unlike my last blog- I have actually been giving the whole dating thang a go but feel like I must still not be doing something right or maybe I am – lord knows!

Don’t get me wrong I know there are much more serious things going on in the world and when put in perspective I will get over this very long blip but, it’s like can something just go right for once! I do a good job of covering things over and acting like I am okay with life just not going to plan (she says after finishing her 3rd box of Kleenex ha) but life is tough!

So, what do we do? Honestly, each situation is different and what one person might find an absolute mountain another person could view it as a piece of cake but, it is okay to feel like you can’t handle it. No matter how Superhuman or Goddess-like we may look, we are only human and life is bound to get on top of us. Take a step back and re-evaluate your options to work around the situation or if its something that can’t be overlooked build your inner self to work through it. You got this!

I have also made it a task to set new goals to help me re-focus on something more positive rather than things that may not be going particularly great. A perfect way to build a more positive mind. Start small and realistic and build on them believing that even if it does get sticky like honey it will taste sweet in the end!

Chins up Puddings xx

Thought Bubble: Ways to Make 2018 Pop!

Maybe you have just hit the jackpot on a new business venture, thought of a new idea that you are 100% certain will solidify all your dreams. Perhaps this year isn’t about that, perhaps it’s something as simple as getting rid of a dead beat boyfriend (girlfriend) or discovering who your real friends are! Whatever it is here are some points to make 2018 pop! *Cue glitter confetti from the ceiling*.

Be Realistic:

Realism is key, as yes it is the new year but the same crap will come! Look at it that you are getting another opportunity to ace it,  not make the same mistakes twice- learn from those lessons babe!

Don’t Hold back:

I mean procrastination is something that we all have experienced in life and as much as life can get busy, what are you really waiting for, lord knows it won’t be handed to you. So if you have the urge to jump on that wave, take that class or finally develop an idea you’ve had back in 08- lets see some action!

Stay True to you!

Finally the media has cottoned on to the idea of being an individual as beautiful. You may still be in you growth stage but, honey listen, no one does you better and it is time you start liking who you are and loving it!

#LiveYourBestLife