Thought bubble: I am unapologetically high maintenance and I don’t think it’s a bad thing

There was an instance where a fella, who already had a decent income I assume got a new job and said exactly this ‘Now I feel like I can look after you’. I mean that’s very sweet and it did make me think good lord shalishah you must be a lot to handle. However, I have always thought to myself why should I settle for less than what I can provide for myself and what I would want to give to others? It may sound superficial- but to me, life is way to short to be thinking of what could of happened or being miserable because I forced myself to be content with something that wasn’t up to what I really want. After all, we will both end up unhappy. 

I sit here in bed with my favourite mix of ginger-ale and disaronno(one to write down for those who would want to impress lol) and after a conversation with a particular Mr who will remain anonymous I re-confirm that I am in fact high maintenance. Not that I have never been told this before from previous guys I have dated or that I ever denied it- In fact I am quite proud to bear the title as to me it shows I know what I want.

There was an instance where a fella, who already had a decent income, I assume, got a new job and said exactly this ‘Now I feel like I can look after you’. I mean that’s very sweet and it did make me think good lord shalishah you must be a lot to handle. However, I have always thought to myself why should I settle for less than what I can provide for myself and what I would want to give to others? It may sound superficial- but to me, life is way to short to be thinking of what could of happened or being miserable because I forced myself to be content with something that wasn’t up to what I really want. After all, we will both end up unhappy.

Just to clarify to you readers who may think so far reading this that I am somewhat pretentious, I am not meaning it in a full materialistic way I just mean it in a way as to your other half making effort and it lasting longer than the 3-6 months (if your even lucky to get that) honeymoon period. Just being real out here ladies and gents! Which brings me back to this anonymous fella at the beginning. The reason why it triggered such thoughts is because we were talking about needing to unwind and relax to which his perfect situation for us to relax all day in bed, talk about life, have a few bed based activities and then chill for the day- all, may I add, was because of the apparent free parking outside my flat haha.

I mean call me weird or whatever but, even as I type it down, I am like no just no. My reply was ‘ What are we 50?!’ There is absolutely nothing wrong with a day in bed- in fact I probably have days in bed most Saturdays but alone lol and they are perfect. However, my point is firstly, why should you have to plan a day in bed, shouldn’t it just happen ? Secondly, I feel like we have an eternity (if you play your cards right) to be in bloody bed lol. Finally, the only other possibility of a joint bed day is if you are joining me on a heavy weekend ha.

All I am saying is, if we are trying to get to know each other lets says, I don’t want a day in bed where I am probably just going to be left watching you sleep!  I want to go to dinner, be in a romantic atmosphere, splash a little cash on a cutie and we can talk about life. Have a spontaneous road trip or just trip in general. Introduce me to hobbies you like to do, go to the pub and watch the footie together for goodness sake! I am just a massive believer that when you are wanting to get to know someone there needs to be effort on both parts and also a special experience- let’s build some dang memories.

Like, how boring would this be if lets say we had kids and my kids asked me, what sort of things did you and Daddy get up to when you was young and I am like ‘Oh we just used to have loads of cute days in bed’.  No, just no lol what am I a sloth! I am an adventure girl ( Role superhero intro), a guy who is thinking to entertain the thought of being with me needs to want to add to that adventure not put me to bed every 5 mins- I mean one J Holiday is enough. Even my flat mate who has only known me for 4 Months analysed that I am the type of lady who seems spontaneous and would visit a country, fall in love with it and probably move there without a second thought.

I like to live in the moment, and that moment could be pricey or perceived as high maintenance but honestly, I wouldn’t expect anyone to do for me what I can not already do or build up to do for myself or want to give back to them. So, my intelligent readers, do not settle of less, maybe staying in bed for an eternity with a hot guy/girl is your cup of tea but think, how will you feel looking back at it – make those memories last and fulfilling, be high-maintenance 😉

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Thought Bubble: I expect too much from Men…

There is probably some experienced women out there who may stumble across the title of this blog and say ” Well honey, I could of told you that for free” but, no matter how much history replays itself, we always seem to get ourselves into the same pickle – so much for evolution ey!

My issue is this, I get myself into a great and solo stage where I am at my peak, I am happy, not reporting to any one, no significant over and I have reached the stage of contentment in self love and all that. Then bang, here comes someone who you think understands you, gets where your coming from and suddenly I am feeling like I need them to be there for me. Like WTH… I was just fine ten seconds before you came and all of a sudden when they have typically lost interest in whatever the hell they must have found vaguely interesting, has disappeared like Cinderella’s ball gown after 12 ‘o’ clock.

This is not to be confused for one of those ” All men are trash” rants ( I am saving that for next week ha) but, this is a confession that as soon as I find what I believe might be a good guy I find myself giving life and caring but maybe the trick is to not expect the same thing back, not expect him to be my prince Eric from little mermaid (Sorry for the Disney references lol), but realise that things cool off and what might be right for now may not be right forever and not to expect they will always understand the sacrifice and loyalty you are trying to show.

Miscommunication is a bugger and although I long for a guy who can be consistent, all these experiences make it much more harder for the next guy as I become more closed off (sucks I know). But, as they say, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger and as long as you know what you expect from yourself and focus on when you are most happiest, I guess we will find the prince charming that would like to fit around us and meet us in the middle for a change.

In the words of my Guyanese Grandma “Every Mouldy biscuit gat he  vum vum cheese” or in other words, there is someone for everyone xx

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Ones to Watch: Tress Clothing

This homegrown collection oozes the classic modern man. Manufactured in West London, Tress Clothing combines simplicity with Style. 

Tress Clothing designer Stephen Skeete is living proof that if you put your mind to something you will succeed- Hard work pays off! Snapseed (6)

This homegrown collection oozes the classic modern man. Manufactured in West London, Tress Clothing combines simplicity with style. Skeete’s easy to pair pieces consists of textured t-shirts, contemporary bomber jackets and modish tracksuits. Skeete discreetly  imprints his logo onto his clothing allowing each piece to tell its own story.

7516775536_IMG_24177516775536_IMG_2418 The material used  also gives a sense of longevity specially handpicked by the designer himself.  My personal favourite is the suede bomber jacket in black which I believe can create such a versatile look, either paired with a basic t-shirt (Tress of course) or a shirt- lets just say if I was on a date and my man rocked up with that, I would definitely say he was a man with style!

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Tress’s Menswear Collection launches in February 2018 and will be available to pre-order, so make sure you do not miss out!

p.s. Ladies do not worry, our time is coming soon as Skeete’s has promised a women’s clothing line to compliment its amazing Menswear so watch this space!

Website: coming soon

Instagram: http://instagram.com/tressclothing

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Shalishah Loves❤: Tonight Josephine

I have officially branded Tonight Josephine’s the cutest cocktail bar in town and here’s why

I have officially branded Tonight Josephine’s the cutest cocktail bar in town and here’s why:

Yaass Josephine:

  • It Looks Amazing: If your a lover of all things fabulous, then this has your name all over it! Josephine’s is stylishly kitted out with neon slogans, mirrored ceilings and snazzy interior. All I can say, is if Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn were still alive, they would approve.

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  • Josephine’s Cocktails slay: For starters, Prosseco is 2 for 1- I know, hSnapseed (1)ow perfect! Happy hour runs from 5-7 every single day of the week on all cocktails and boy! do the bar tenders know how to mix and good one. My personal favourite of the night had to be the ‘Flaming zombie’ which consists of Bacardi rum, triple sec, passion fruit, pineapple and topped with of course- fire.
  • Atmosphere: Josephine definitely caters for every type of women with a variety of well known songs setting the mood in the background, it is every bit of a women’s paradise. However, the crowd is very mixed with men and women. Where the guys present must have secretly love the quirky girl power nature of the bar or they’re smart and know where to find the ladies! Either way all enjoy the vibrant night that ‘Tonight Josephine’ offers.

The Debbie Downer 💔

This is by no means something that can be helped by a Bar tucked away in a basement however there isn’t a lot of space! Tables are available to book either online or by calling the venue (which I suggest you do well in advance) but there are not a lot of tables and if you haven’t been lucky enough to sit like loyalty, then you are left walking around trying to perch on the any space you can find. This does not take away from the class of the venue as it does make it intimate and brings a sense of ‘girls night in’ (with a bunch of additional strangers) that is very manageable! I do hope in the future ‘Tonight Josephine’ is able to expand like it’s famous Brother ‘Adventure bar’ and is able to have bigger venue. That would be an icing to an already brilliant cake!

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Website: http://www.tonightjosephine.co.uk/ IMG_8694

 

Thought Bubble: Go and Find Yourself …

You may read this and feel like duh! Shalishah you’re kind of making it this way, which is true – but I feel like I am going through a period where I need to find myself again, or maybe I never did find my true self in the first place? Life experiences shape you.

I feel Alone! So bizarre- Not that I don’t have people around me but, I am sure I can not be the only person to feel alone in a room full of people. I do not want pity, that is not why I have exposed such feelings, I look at it as a transitional period.

I mean for example, I have probably cut and bruised any guy who has tried to show me love or attention recently (not in a physical way) but, in a way that I am fed up of relationships. I vowed a million times over that I would never turn into one of those bitter ladies however, sadly I am a certified member lol! In a nutshell, I have become selfish with my time and want to focus on me and when a guy comes into my life and decides to do the right thing by, giving me extra attention and wants to spend more time with me- I run away and retreat and act like a cow so they give up. Call it a defence method or whatever the hell I am doing, I am just presently no longer a lover or love and sometimes it does kill me as I was never like that!

Then there’s life ambitions, that’s changed to. I’ve seemed to have embarked on some random journey for one which involves; travelling, money saving (a bit of a contradiction with the travelling I know lol) and mainly thinking about what I want out of life first and it does feel quite lonely. You may read this and feel like duh! Shalishah you’re kind of making it this way, which is true – but I feel like I am going through a period where I need to find myself again, or maybe I never did find my true self in the first place? Life experiences shape you.

Anyway, this blog post is for all the ladies and gentlemen out there who have had rubbish thrown in their faces, their eyes opened and now just need A LOT of self Loving, I feel you! Go and find yourself again !

Shalishah xx

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